Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Totally blown away....

Hello again, my twisted lovelies!

Since I was part of the BDSM blog tour at the beginning of the month, I did not do a proper book release post for my new title, Guns & Hoses. So, here it is!

Guns & Hoses is my eighteenth title since 2010. I so can't believe I have been an author for 4 years (well, 3.5, actually until Nov. *grin*) already. Time has flown by! I have been extremely successful at self publishing compared to and according to some of my fellow authors. So, successful in fact, that as many of you know I became incorporated in 2012 just to get away from the 28% self employment (1099) tax that was eating up my royalties!

St. Pete Pride 2014
Of course, this success is do to several factors, I am sure. I have two Bachelor degrees (Business Management & Marketing) that I jokingly say I gave up to become an author. However, I am sure they play a large part in my success thus far. Another aspect that has contributed to how well my new career is going, is that I am fortunate enough to be able to write full time. My very loving husband (that's him, he's a cutie, huh?) nudged me, well kinda shoved me, into finishing my first novel, Fates, back in 2010 and has encouraged my career. I am beyond lucky that I do not have to work 40 hours a week and squeeze my writing whenever I can.
But finally, my success can be contributed to you, my fans, my readers, and I can't thank you enough! I never planned on or dreamed I would end up being an author (unlike most others), so all I can say is thank you for helping me become so successful at my new career.

So, why am I blown away right now? Well, Guns & Hoses was released on June 30th and has sold over 1600 copies already! *squeeee* It has been on 3 Amazon Best Seller lists since release and made it to number 2 on ARe. Now, I have had other Amazon & ARe Best Sellers but the feeling never gets old. The excitement is fresh every damn time! I can't thank everyone enough for making me feel this rush again! 

If you haven't checked out Guns & Hoses yet, here's the blurb and where you can get it.

Tigger Flint and Thomas Flame shared an instant mutual hate for one another since the day they met in sixth grade. Their dislike grew into competition and rivalry throughout high school as they were stuck in the same honors classes and played the same sports. That hatred and rivalry followed them into adulthood as one became and cop and the other a fireman.
Sharing the same haunt, Guns & Hoses, gave everyone from both departments plenty of opportunity to witness their personal war. Being forced back onto the football field for a charity game gave both men another venue for their hatred and rivalry to make an appearance.
But those feelings weren't the only emotions in attendance and the winner of the game could just be both of them.

Several reviewers have also chimed in and I have been interviewed recently as well. If you would like to see what everyone is saying (or read my interview), just hop over to my website and scroll down to the book for all the links :)

Thank you all again! Without you, I wouldn't have my wonderful new career! 

Friday, June 20, 2014

BDSM... A Continuous Jorney

Hello my twisted & kinky lovelies! 
I was excited when asked to join this blog. As many of you know, Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism, or more commonly referred to by just the acronym BDSM is a lifestyle I have be living for awhile. My journey is ongoing, as anyone who undertakes this lifestyle knows is the case, and for the last eighteen years I have discovered things about myself that were pleasant, shocking, and scary.
I want to share with you the highlights of my own journey. But before I do, I need to remind (or educate you) that not everyone's journey in this lifestyle is the same. Not everyone experiences the same interpersonal growth. Not everyone wants the D/s (Dominant/submissive) facet that can accompany BDSM. There is nothing wrong with just enjoying the physical aspects of BDSM without incorporating the mental D/s aspect. Every relationship is different. That difference doesn't mean it's wrong. It is just different from your own.
That being said, before I begin my story, let me share some definitions from Merrian Webster.

  • Bondage - A sexual activity that involves tying a person up for pleasure.
  • Discipline - control  that is granted by requiring that rules or order be obeyed and punishing bad behavior.
  • Sadism - Sexual enjoyment obtained by the infliction of physical or mental pain on others (as on a love subject)
  • Masochism - Sexual enjoyment or pleasure that someone gets from be hurt or punished. 

More recently the DS in BDSM has been given the duel definitions and identification for Dominant/submissive. So, I am including these definitions as well.
  • Dominant - Commanding, controlling or prevailing over all others; a dominant individual in a social hierarchy.
  • submissive - willing to obey someone else characterized by tendencies to yield to the will or authority of others.

Now, I will share my journey with you.

When I first met my husband, I knew nothing about this lifestyle. Sure, I knew about some kink... hell, I had been handcuffed and tied down before, even spanked and smacked during sex, but that just made me a bit kinky....right? Well, this is true for most people and with the popularity of Fifty Shades, sadly, most people still fall into this category. But, I digress. As I said, I did not know this kind of kink was actually a lifestyle until I met my husband...and his then current wife... when they needed a nanny. Go ahead, make your Fran Drescher jokes. I'll wait. 
Okay, not that you have that out of your system, I'll continue. 

It was meeting them that I was introduced to the D/s - BDSM lifestyle. It was his then wife who encouraged my husband and I to enter into a D/s relationship. Now, prior to meeting and moving in with them, I had been highly independent, strong minded, and opinionated. The thought of being submissive equated being weak in my uneducated mind. I soon learned not only was I wrong but I was very, very, wrong. As my education began, I reveled in the self challenge to give up the control I had always held onto with an unwavering grip. The same was true for the BDSM aspects that my husband incorporated into our relationship. I took every bit of pain as challenge to not safeword even though I knew that safewording didn't mean I was weak. For five years (three of which were after his wife left him but that's another story), I was my husband's submissive. I can honestly say that these five years were the most challenging, most enlightening, and most educating of my life. That says much since I have earned two Bachelor degrees. Submitting to my husband waned after we married in 2001. This was due to several factors. Our children had become an age where our lifestyle had to change so that our focus was on them. However, as much as I would like to say that was why we packed everything away in the hope chest, the truth is that my Dominant side was growing stronger. I never really fell into my roll as a submissive. It never came naturally to me. Never BECAME natural for me. Every act of submission was still a challenge, it was almost exhausting, and my husband recognized this. This is when my education shifted and changed direction.

 Over the years, our children grew and my journey in the lifestyle continued slowly. We had part time subs that we shared. Usually, just weekend encounters and we still do this since neither of us has found a submissive that suits our needs (together or individually.) My husband and I 'played' when we could and I still submitted to my husband in a BDSM aspect. I enjoyed the kink and Hell, I still do. Did this effect my education as a Dominant? No, it actually has made me a better Dominant and through my journey and education, have since learned that most Dominants train as a submissive for a period of time. 
Now that our children are grown, we have once more returned to the lifestyle that we both realized we missed greatly. The difference now? I sub to my husband for the BDSM kink only. We are husband and wife who happen to be both Dominants. We can also be open and active in our lifestyle community. The freedom to be around others of like mind and to learn from them, to continue not only my journey but my husband's as well, has been liberating for us both and has only made our relationship stronger.

Now, I am going to shift gears, then wrap this blog up.

With the overwhelming popularity of Fifty Shades, BDSM has become "popular." Sadly though, this popularity is hurting our lifestyle. Most of us who have read the trash that was Fifty Shades are insulted at the unrealistic dramatization of what the BDSM D/s lifestyle  is really about. Yes, this series is fiction but for the general population who know no better (and the fact that this fiction introduced them to the lifestyle), it has caused many people to bypass the proper training and education in order to explore the lifestyle. They are learning from other (now popular) BDSM fictional novels, youtube videos, and websites that often continue to misrepresent the lifestyle. In their haste to introduce the kink that turned them on from reading a book, they do not grasp the totality of the mental component of BDSM and/or D/s. I feel safe in saying that 90% of the BDSM D/s lifestyles are mental and not physical. It is this facet that those who think this lifestyle is abusive miss entirely. It is also what threatens the safety of new Dominants and submissives.

So, I share this with you.

I mentioned the popularity of BDSM novels and as an author, I have written my own. Did I write them because they seem to be the hottest thing on the market right now and they might push up my royalties? No, I wrote Not for Sale and Highest Bidder to give readers a realistic BDSM experience in a fictional novel. So, that being the case, I am giving away two digital copies of the combined novels, Undercover Love.

If you hopped here from somewhere else, thank you for visiting My Twisted & Kinky World. If you are here because you seen my post about the blog, please hop onto see the others on this tour. The tour does not officially start until July 5th so if you are here early, I hope you will come back and hop to the others once the tour is underway.